A move is seen, by child development professionals, as one of the most unsettling happenings in a kid’s life.  The manner in which a child responds to changing homes depends on several aspects, like personality, closeness to friends, and the reasons for the move.  Several studies have shown that the parents are in the best place to offer the needed support to help their children be happy regardless of any move.

The approach of the parents to the move normally affects the child.  If the parents are sad about it, the child’s reaction will be a negative one.  On the contrary, if the parents are happy about it and talk about great expectations, the child will too.  Normally, younger children are better at accepting big changes; children in their teens will have a rough time because the identity crisis that they normally experience during these years is deepened by the loss of their friends.

In order to make it easier on everyone, but especially on your children, talk openly to them about the move.  Tell them what they can expect, what their new neighborhood is like and how to make new friends.  If possible, take them there before moving, so that they can experience the place for themselves and feel like an important part of the decision.  You can let your children choose their bedrooms and think of how they are going to decorate them, give them packing and labeling responsibilities, and let them meet the movers in Seattle, so that they feel useful.

After you move, pay attention to your children’s games and playing routines, these will help you identify their needs.  If they are talking to friends, pets or dolls, they could be worried or fearful, thus, assure them that their normal activities will still be there and open the doors for communication.

Look for similarities between the old place and the new one, not only between the houses, but also between neighborhood and town.  Go to the child’s new school with him or her before the first day.  Go into the classroom and meet the teacher, encourage your child to play with a classmate before starting school and do not create false expectations about how cool the new school is.  Let your child experience it for himself, but always show optimism and encouragement.

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The process of moving is not only physically and mentally laborious and tiring for you but can also be traumatizing for your kids if it is not handled adequately.  Put yourself in their shoes and think how unsettling it can be to think about losing your best friends and everything you know and cherish at a time when those are the most important things in life.  Some kids may feel like their whole world is coming apart, and although they will need time to completely recover and understand that it is not the end of the world, if you make them an active part of the move and give them some control, by making them feel useful and allowing them to help, it will be easier on them, and they will cope with this big decision in a better way.

Friendly Seattle movers have provided some tips to get your kids involved in the process, allowing them to be very helpful, before and on moving day:

1.    During the early stages, make sure you inform your kids about the move, its reasons, and smallest details.  Give them room to ask all the questions they need to ask and ensure them you will answer honestly and thoroughly.  You can ask them to write down all the questions they can think of, then plan a fun family meeting and answer them or discuss them openly.  Honesty will convey confidence in your kids that this is the best way to go.

2.    Invite them to share their opinions and suggest solutions to certain issues or situations, specially the ones that involve them or relate to them.  You will be surprised at how practical and intelligent their opinions can be.  If possible, take them to see their new home in advance and let them choose their bedrooms.

3.    Allow your kids to sort their things.  Give them a list of categories: keep, donate, recycle, and throw away.  Explain each category, but let them decide, with your assistance, what they want to add to each one of them.

4.    Put your kids in charge of packing their stuff in a supervised way.  Work a plan with them based on the new home’s layout and their possessions.  Teach them how to correctly label, pack boxes and categorize items, so that everything is organized when the time comes to unpack.  To go a little further, put them in charge of labeling the rest of the boxes for other rooms in the house, according to your instructions and needs.  They will feel really useful and involved.

5.    Put your kids to work on an address book so that they can keep in touch with their old friends and family, while helping you sort out all the contacts you need to keep.  Explain to them that moving doesn’t mean people have to disappear from their lives; they just have to learn to stay in touch in different ways.  Teach them how to use electronic media to call their friends.  This will give them a sense of security, giving a positive outlook to the move.  They will even be excited about inviting their friends to visit at their new home.

6.    Give your kids the responsibility for the “special box” of moving day essentials.  This box should contain all the essentials they will need during that day.  They can decorate it as they like.  Let them make it fun!

7.    Older siblings can take care of the younger ones if their age allows it.  This responsibility will make them feel very important and useful, and they will have the opportunity to exercise their older brother/sister power in a controlled way.

Your kids can be a lot of help if you know how to channel their energy towards things they are able to do well and interest them.  If anything, kids can make a move much more fun than it really is, taking away the stress and exhaustion of the process, at least psychologically, with their lively participation.

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